The Big Red Rule and Why There is No Such Thing as a Perfect Cycle

We have only one rule with this work, and we call it our Big Red Rule. It simply states that: Your own cycle, matrescence or menopause experience is more important than any archetypal ideal.

We invite you to drop any expectation that you ‘should’ experience the cycle (or matrescence or menopause) in a certain way.

Although we teach about the ‘archetypal cycle’ with four inner seasons which unfold over a roughly twenty-eight day cycle, through practising menstrual cycle awareness you’ll discover your own unique, personal experience of this.

The Archetypal Cycle acts as a ‘container’ and a reference point from which to act. However, it can’t account for what happens when your unique nature, constitution, life situation and Calling meet the Archetypal Cycle.

Our work is not meant to be prescriptive—your experience of the cycle will be shaped by a number of things including; your overall health, your character and personal history, your lifestyle practices, your age and life stage, and your kids if you have them, amongst other factors.

So, you might like to think of the archetypal cycle teachings that we often share here in the Red Thread, on The Menstruality Podcast, and in our Wild Power and Wise Power books, as a living body of knowledge. They are not a set of implacable rules for you to live by. It’s up to each of us to make sense of, evolve or adapt the knowledge within the context of our lives and what’s important to us.

And most importantly, to lean into and trust the meaning and wisdom of the cyclical experienced we have.

This Big Red Rule is vital for your menstrual cycle awareness practice in so many ways:

1. It helps you to let go of any perfectionist tendencies that rear their head. There really is no right way to ‘do’ the cycle. The gifts of the cycle come from your steady engagement with you experience of it, that’s where the real magic emerges from.
2. It helps you to embrace the complexity of your cycle experience: You may find yourself feeling torn between wanting a cycle that’s healthy and looks ‘right’, with no menstrual problems, and having the cycle you have without making yourself ‘wrong’ or inadequate. The Big Red Rule invites you to really feel and experience the cycle you have – with all its complexity, challenge and eccentricity – and to craft meaning from that.
3. It helps you to let go of self-judgement. In an ideal world – one in which the cycle is deeply valued – we’d all be able to experience the most exalted states of being – such as bliss, ecstasy, oneness and love – naturally, if we so chose. But the world is not yet set up to support us to have that, so it’s crucial not to judge yourself if you don’t experience it.
4. It helps you to build the psychological muscle needed to bring your unique expression of the powers of the cycle alive.
5. It supports your journey to power: As you begin to practise awareness of your menstrual cycle, you fire up the revolution naturally. MCA awakens your female initiatory journey to power, and in following it you also serve the world. It’s really important to remember that this path, your spiritual way, is an inside job. By that we mean you’re initiated from within – it’s happening to you rather than being something you do.

In summary, there really is no perfect cycle. If you find yourself dealing with strong menstrual challenges like very irregular, difficult or painful cycles, we encourage you to seek appropriate help. But please don’t think you’ve failed in some way. We invite you to begin by saying ‘yes’ to the cycle you have: accepting it as it is. Ordain it as holy, because in that moment you create space for the experience of your life to fill you.

And that’s where the magic of your menstrual cycle really comes alive. It’s a custom-built path that serves you if you cherish it and honour the intimacy of your own experience. You don’t have to impose rigorous regimes on yourself – there’s no fasting, sweating, pushing or any other tough practices. You simply have to engage with your cycle, believe in the changing pattern of mood and energy as meaningful, and learn to love it.

If you’re ready to journey deeper with your own unique cycle wisdom, we invite you to join our Cycle Power course. It’s our most comprehensive training in the inner seasons of the menstrual cycle.

Here are some kind words from past course participants…

This was the beginning of an incredible journey into the depths of creation and my aliveness as a woman, opening me to a bone deep truth that I now deepen every day through cycle awareness - that “my body is my true religion”.

- Julika Weber

For me, realising that the 'inner critic' during the autumn week is a source of power instead of PMS syndrome needing to be medicated was the biggest revelation of us as I think every woman on the planet should know this!

- Vanessa Parrado Lobo

When you learn from Alexandra and Sjanie every person is seen as their whole self, and their experience is important - it is woven into the teaching and into the work in this very personalised way. I also love their honesty and their sense of humour, which goes a long way in a topic which can sometimes be heavy!

- Suad Ahmed

‍