Q: Karina wrote to us about the loss of menstruation after going through a divorce. She is 28, not pregnant, and she wants to know what is going on.
A: Going through a divorce regardless of whether it is mutual, or you have instigated it or not, is an enormous life transition and because of that potentially very stressful. The cycle is at all times responding to who you are on the inside and what is happening on the outside - in other words it’s stress sensitive. That’s why we call the cycle first and foremost a wonderful feedback mechanism on the state of your body and soul. When there are disruptions to the cycle, it can be your being’s way of saying a number of things:
You are overstretched and don’t have enough ‘juice’ in the system for making hormones right now. So please do rest, take some time to deeply nurture and care for yourself and in particular make sure you are getting a nutritionally dense diet in particular quality protein and good fats. Comb through our Hormone Harmony course for other tips and tools. In particular, we strongly recommend the Deer Exercise (instructions in Lesson 6 of HH). It’s excellent for restoring hormonal balance and coaxing back lost cycles.
When you are connected to your cycle you are connected to yourself, and when your cycle disappears for no reason (you’re not pregnant, post birth or peri-menopausal), it could be that you have lost connection to yourself. In the emotional upheaval of your divorce, the cycle's momentary disappearance, is a way of calling you home to you, what’s important to you or even where you want to be going. This is normal in any big life transition, and the remedies are the timeless ones of time, immense tenderness with yourself, and perhaps finding some simple practices and rituals to enfold you into the sacred. It’s as though your cycle is pausing because it wants you to pause for a moment and not continue on with life as normal. It wants your psyche to catch up with the changes going on...it’s always slower than our ego would like it to be!
Simply put, any interruptions with and within our cycle are moments of calling us to account in some way, potential moments of awakening. Be with who you are right now, lean in to yourself, deeply listen, don’t try to make anything happen but allow whatever wants to be known to come through
While we are suggesting time, patience, deep nourishment if nothing changes we'd strongly recommend you get some back up support from a natural health practitioner. There are many remedies available that are best prescribed by someone qualified and tailor made for you. In particular we find acupuncture particularly useful for lost cycles. Do let us know how you go Karina.
Please note: When we receive a question we often only have the barest of information so we respond intuitively sensing into the deeper psychological and spiritual forces that could be at work, and also share any useful self care practices we know of. However please do note that we’re not professional health practitioners. Do read our disclaimer here before taking anything we say on board.