Menstruation is the great interrupter of our via positiva, do-do-do culture: it brings a halt to busyness. It comes to reset and reorder our being so we can maintain our vitality and wellbeing. In a way, the role of the inner winter is to undo you. From this place of being utterly undone, you can experience some true respite. Then it puts you back together again, freshly minted to go out and conquer the world once more.
It’s a wonderful pit stop on what would otherwise be a dizzying, out-of-control, 24/7 rollercoaster of a life. It’s as crucial as sleep for your physical body, and equally essential for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
But I (Sjanie) know all too well - as I shared above - that the world doesn’t stop when we want it to. It keeps barreling along, and with it, all of our responsibilities, and chores and to-dos.
So we need to be fierce in advocating for our rest. That’s why we’re sharing some ground rules today. They’re actually adapted from the ground rules for menopause, in our Wise Power book, but they also hold true for menstruation.
When you go through an initiation – be it menstruation, becoming a mother, dealing with illness or loss, or navigating menopause – the normal rules of life no longer apply. To accommodate the enormity of what you’re negotiating, the ground rules must be different. Your expectations of yourself have to drop, probably a lot.
When you bleed, part of you drops out of the pace of ‘normal life’, and you’re in a somewhat emotionally, psychologically and spiritually altered place. You’re likely to feel more sensitive, and have less capacity for dealing with the stuff of the world.
So, here are some ground rules to help you yield to the spiritual death-and-rebirth invitiation available to you when you bleed - even amidst the flurry of daily life :
1. Strip back your life to the essentials. Seek cover (literally - getting under the duvet for five minutes can be a gamechanger!). Hang low. Tend to yourself in little moments.
2. Slow right down. See if you can find ways to do a little less; and do whatever you do more slowly. Take your time with things.
3. Stop. Rest. Have periods of doing nothing, Even if it’s just for an hour. Carve out pockets of time alone. Switch off devices and be quiet with yourself.
4. Create simple routines that nourish and hold you. For a couple of days, see if you can focus on the most straightforward daily tasks and keep the basic rhythm going, without pushing yourself or driving new plans forward. Don’t make ambitious plans. Drop your goals for twenty-four hours.
5. Cut yourself as much slack as possible. Drop perfectionism and let yourself be below par (you can always return to your high standards in a day or two).
6. Be flexible with yourself. See what you can put down or at least postpone for a day or two. Give yourself permission to change your plans at any time.
7. Engage in pleasurable, slow, soft activities – find what brings you comfort, joy or satisfaction and see if you can give at least a little time to it; Yoga nidra, gentle gardening, crafting or creating, playing music or restful dancing.
8. Never underestimate the power of tiny acts of self‐care.
When it comes to menstrual cycle awareness, everything begins and ends with menstruation: your inner winter. If you surrender to this season and consummate its gifts, you’re perfectly set up for the succession of seasons that follow.
Menstruation is the engine room of your power – the ultimate antidote to procrastination. It’s the prime time to plant the seeds of your intentions for the coming cycle and beyond, and at this time in history in many of our cultures, the deep visitation of winter is the thing that most of us deeply long for and need, whether we know it or not. Like land that’s been over-farmed and monopolized for production, our souls are thirsting – longing to lie fallow and drink in the nourishment of stillness and unhurried languor.
How you bleed sets the tone for the whole of your cycle.
If you’d like support to receive the medicine of inner winter, you might enjoy our Cycle Power course, where we go inner season, by inner season, guiding you to access the specific powers available to you in each cycle phase. You can take a closer look at our Cycle Power course here if you'd like a little more information on what to expect.
