During menopause you’re out of the pace of ‘normal life’, and you’re in a somewhat emotionally loaded, less resourced, physically demanding place.
As with any huge life transition, whether it’s matrescence, bereavement, or a health crisis, you’re likely to have less physical energy, feel more sensitive and have way less capacity for dealing with things. You aren’t equipped for worldly stuff. But this state is part and parcel of the ingredients necessary for you to evolve into the new self you are becoming.
So, here are some ground rules to guide you:
1. Strip back your life to the essentials. Seek cover. Hang low. So that you can tend to yourself.
2. Slow right down. Do less; and do whatever you do more slowly. Take your time with things.
3. Stop. Rest. Have periods of doing nothing.
4. Carve out pockets of time alone. Be quiet with yourself.
5. Create simple routines that nourish and hold you. Focus on the most straightforward daily tasks and keep the basic rhythm going. Having some daily work that you must turn up for isn’t necessarily bad – on the contrary, it can hold you – but you can’t be pushing yourself or driving new plans.
6. Gather with like‐minded folk. Be with people who are going through menopause, or who get what you’re experiencing.
7. Cut yourself as much slack as possible. Drop perfectionism and let yourself be below par (you can always return to your high standards later).
8. Don’t make ambitious plans. Drop your goals for a while. The old ‘set a goal and push yourself towards it’ won’t work now.
9. Be flexible with yourself. Give yourself permission to change your plans at any time.
10. Engage in pleasurable activities – find what brings you comfort, joy or satisfaction and do it. Things like gardening, creating, baking, playing music or dancing.
11. Never underestimate the power of small, nay tiny, acts of self‐care.
If you’re in the midst of the menopause initiation, and you’d like to feel a supportive community around you, as well as be guided through the map of the five phases of menopause, please join the waiting list for our autumn round of menopause: The Great Awakener here.
And if you’re navigating a difficult transitional time in your life, you may enjoy this podcast: How Cycle Awareness Holds us in Dark Times
