One of my most profound menstrual dreams, (just on the cusp of bleeding) was set out on the moors of Northumberland, close to where I used to live as a child. I was amongst the heather when suddenly a cowboy appeared in front of me, and there was nowhere to hide because all the trees were small and stunted.
I quickly realised that the cowboy was trying to kill me, by throwing stones at me. I often have dreams where people are out to kill me - mostly it’s the mafia! But this particular dream was transformative.
The cowboy represented pure, clean, clear masculine energy. But he was throwing rock after rock at me. All I could do was keep trying to dodge them. I was utterly exposed. And then suddenly I found that he wasn’t trying to kill me anymore, but instead holding me in his arms, and I experienced a love like I had never felt before.
When I woke up from this profound experience, I felt like I'd passed the initiation, and as if I’d been forged into a new version of myself. The key was that I stayed facing the cowboy, and I didn't run away. Yes, I ducked, but who wouldn’t?! But I couldn't run away, because his aim was so true. And in facing the Masculine in this way, I got to experience the deepest kind of love I had ever known - a direct experience of union. It was so exquisite.
Tracking menstrual dreams like this is a vital aspect of practising the menstruality leadership path, because it can be a gateway to fully embodying our own worthiness. You can have a direct experience of your own ‘bigness’, your own almighty capacity to really stand inside yourself and be seen, or to face the challenge and to experience a potent kind of union with life and with love, as Sophie - the Menstruality Podcast host - experienced in her most powerful menstrual dream…
Sophie’s Renewal Dream: Singing in my Underwear and Getting a Standing Ovation!
I (Sophie) experienced four challenging and dark years of infertility in my late thirties, where I felt that my life became very small, and I felt lost, lonely and inside a quiet, persistent kind of grief most of the time.
After another unsuccessful cycle, my bleed arrived and I descended into a couple of days of trying to hold myself together and show up for my life. And then on day three, I had what I now call my ‘renewal dream’, which I will never forget.
I found myself on a stage in front of hundreds of people, in my underwear. But despite the fact that I wasn’t wearing clothes (which would be a nightmare if it was happening in real life!) in the dream I felt jubilant, liberated and just all round thrilled and delighted with myself.
And I started singing, as full-throatedly and loudly as I possibly could. I just let it rip, and the audience responded with the most rapturous applause, until I was there, standing almost naked on stage, receiving a standing ovation from these hundreds of strangers.
I woke up feeling wedded to my own goodness, my own beauty, and my own brilliance. It was like my menstruation was somehow putting me back together to face the challenges of committing to my calling of being a mother, no matter what, and I treasured that memory until I was finally blessed with my son.
Tips for Tracking Your Menstrual Dreams
Would you like to take the next step into your menstruality leadership pathway?
The doors are open for our Menstruality Leadership Programme, which can be a homecoming to the kind of life-affirming, truly generative power revealed in these menstrual dreams. It’s a reclaiming of the wisdom you know in your blood and bones - that it’s time for each of us to unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle and menopause and use it to serve and stand for Life itself. You can find out more and register here.
