For many of us reading this, we’re now entering into the Winter holiday season often filled with social events and gatherings with our loved ones. But if you’re reading this in a different part of the world, or your big holidays happen at different times of the year, please file this article away for the time you’re most likely to need it!
But what if everyone else wants you to be “on”, when you’re longing to power down?
We are rhythmical beings. Nature’s rhythm shows up in our cells, our breath, our menstrual cycle and in our environment, with the day and night rhythm, seasons of the year and changing moon. Our lives are embedded in a constant, subtle change of activity and rest: on and off, advance and retreat, light and dark, expansion and contraction. Nothing is the same all the time, and that includes us.
Menstruation and menopause in particular are phases in our lives in which we retreat and contract into ourselves. And yet we’ve been cajoled into the idea that anything less than constant activity, doing and producing is a sign of failure.
So, this tool kit is a resource for you when your inner needs conflict with the needs of the folks around you, to help you claim the menstrual or menopause rest you need. Even if you only manage to give yourself 1% of what you yearn for, your psyche registers it and is soothed.
Here are some steps to help you claim the rest you need when you bleed (especially in holiday season):
1. Note when menstruation is roughly due and mark yourself in your diary as ‘unavailable’
Even if it’s just for an hour. If you’re in menopause or your cycles are unpredictable in the autumn of your menstruating years, then you could also mark time for you around the new moon.
2. Plan for empty space
Remember: all human beings need downtime. We’re lucky in that we get a monthly built-in reminder to claim it. Is there any way you can reduce your to-do list as much as possible for a day or two? Are there any small pieces you can delegate? Allow yourself to gently potter, even if it’s just for an hour.
3. Do your ‘big shop’ before your period is due
Get the fridge stocked ready, or make some extra meals when you have more energy (perhaps around ovulation) so you can put them in the freezer as back-up.
4. ‘Raise the red flag’
Do what you can to call in your allies and get all hands on deck. People often love to help when asked. Who could you call on to give you some extra support for a couple of hours so that you can drop your bundle?
5. Ignore the ringing phone
One of the smaller ways we can carve out some headspace and empty time is to turn off our electronic devices, again, even an hour or two can make a big difference. There is huge power is tiny acts of self-care.
6. Lie in a hot bath
I (Sjanie) am obsessed with being in water. And sometimes a bath is the only way! If the days are very busy, see if you can have a slightly earlier night so that you can slip away for half an hour and soak in the tub, or oil your skin from head to toe. Do anything that really indulges your senses and pleasures your body. Even for five minutes.
7. Value the power of doing nothing
In a world that keeps on producing, growing, enhancing, and expanding, we have to stand our ground and claim our knowing that it is ok to just let ourselves be. That in fact, the fallow times are vital for all true growth. As Octavia Raheem, one of our recent guests on the Menstruality Podcast says: ”The world doesn't need more burned-out visionaries. It needs well-rested revolutionaries who move at the speed of wisdom.”
And if you want to add some music to your holiday toolkit, here is a playlist Sjanie created called Rest is Medicine.
